Chick-fil-A; a delicious spawn of Satan.

A recent study out of New Zealand has shown that cattle, sheep, and goats emit 48% of the country’s green house gasses in the form of Methane and Nitrous Oxide, based on an inventory of 34.2 Million sheep, 9.7 Million cattle, 1.4 Million deer, and 155,000 goats. This makes up 18% of the harmful gasses worldwide, more than all forms of transportation combined.

Scientists in New Zealand have proposed many ideas of how to lessen this startling statistic, such as modified diets, food additives, and vaccines, while Australian teams have suggested eating more kangaroo- a non-methane producing animal. However, all scientists agree that as the world population increases, the demand for livestock grows exponentially, along with the heightened risk of extreme global warming.



Listen, we don’t need a miracle, or magic potion, or some crazy scientific equation. Open your damn eyes people! While the world has been keeping a close watch on a sneaky China, the cows are making their stealthy advancements towards world domination. What’s that? You think I’m crazy? Well perhaps you haven’t seen all those Chick-fil-A advertisements for the past forty years!



Cows can't complete their global power struggle if we keep eating them, but you’re so damn brain washed by their absurdly delicious chicken sandwiches and waffle fries that you haven’t noticed them infiltrating our society! Slowly but surely they’ve been learning our language and mating with our women. Before we know it we’ll be overrun with half-breed cow-people, and those are the worst kind.



This can only mean Chick-fil-A is not only a threat to our Nation, but a threat to the WORLD- just ahead of vegetarians and PETA. This situation MUST be addressed immediately, because I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to have to go up against THIS...